Category Archives: Media

If women say men think only with their penis… Will she be offended if I ask her to blow my mind?

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I totaled my Lexus this morning Now I have to drive my mom’s 2012 Porsche to school until my 2013 Lexus arrives.

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My new party trick – I swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my ass tied together i shit you knot

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You wouldn’t have to wear a condom If you just got me pregnant

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Running a bit late for work or a meeting in the morning? Take a few minutes to stop and get a box of donuts for the office. Everyone will remember the gesture, not your tardiness.

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School doesn’t observe National Holiday? I do.

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walking out of the store after browsing and not finding what I want they think im shoplifting

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Hey, you know that girl you just met that is only in town for a couple of weeks? let’s fall in love with her

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Don’t like the taste of water? Go exercise. When you’re done it will be the most delicious drink you’ve ever had.

Read more: http://quickmeme.com/p/3uw0fu

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I thought saying “Jacking off” was synonymous with “slacking off” When my teacher asked where my homework was, I told her “Sorry I jacked off this weekend”

Read more: http://quickmeme.com/p/3u98o1

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